Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Crappy foundations

My stories from high school could probably fill an entire book.  For that reason, I won't delve into any of them too deeply.  Last night was eye opening for me though.

While enjoying dinner with my dear mentor, I shared several deeply painful situations from the good 'ol high-school era.  Disappointment, pain, misunderstandings.  Blah, blah, blah.  I don't even know how we originally ended up on that topic, although I'm pretty sure the Holy Spirit was doing some directing of His own last night.

As invariably happens when I have a conversation with my mentor (which is partially why she is my mentor), I literally saw the exact situation that I've retold numerous times from a completely different angle.  And in the process I discovered a big, hairy, ugly lie.  A lie that comes so naturally to me that it scared me.  A place I go to naturally, in almost all situations that don't go as I originally envision them.

That I'm not "good enough"

That there is something wrong with me.

It was fascinating how I finally saw that painful situation for what it was: foundational.  A crappy foundation, but highly influential on how I do life today.

So I abandoned that lie.  I'm done carrying that around with me.  And I can't even tell you how much lighter life feels today.  Oh progress, I missed you!

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