There have been numerous "AHA!" moments and even more "ohh, so that's how extroverts see it...".
Of course, that doesn't mean that I have it all figured out. In fact, quite the opposite-- today would be a good example of that.
As I sat through a long, dreaded meeting, I hit a new wall. A conversation went round and round-- long-winded extroverts didn't realize that their chatter was pushing me over the edge-- but no decisions were being made, in fact, most of the talk was doing nothing. Of course, as the only introvert in the room, how were they to know that I was approaching "no return"? And at that moment I literally snapped. Verbally actually. Then, overwhelmed by everything, I started shaking. I just escaped from the room before I was reduced to tears. Sitting on the floor of the bathroom crying uncontrollably-- sucking in breath like I was dying. It was a mess. And actually a little bit scary. There have been many times that I've wanted to leave the room during a meeting, but this was the first time I actually had to.
The saddest part of it was that I felt silly. Like I had no reasonable explanation for the tears. Like my reaction was completely off base from the circumstances. At the time, I felt like I was overreacting. But as I sit here now, I see the fallacy there. Sure, if I'm going to grow then I need to learn how to better deal with meeting situations like today, but my reaction were a natural response to extreme overstimulation (for me, at least). Maybe it sounds egotistical for me to say that in embracing my introvertedness, I'm accepting my feelings and responses as natural. Don't get me wrong, growth is necessary too. But I refuse to degrade myself and my response today as petty or silly.
The key is in noting what it was that set me off (to diminish these triggers) and to remove myself (momentarily) from a situation before it escalates to the "meltdown" point.
Baby steps though.
