Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Off Balance

I don't post nearly as often as I should.  But then again, there are a lot of things I don't feel I do often enough.

And that's my problem.

Every couple of months I, figuratively, hit a wall.  It's like my wheels are spinning, but I've completely stopped moving.  Or sometimes it feels like I'm on a very off-kilter merry-go-round and I'm holding on for dear life-- watch out skinned knees!
Regardless, I hit this point where I know something is amiss.  My life's cadence has shifted-- and not in a good way.  My balance is off.  I crave almost nothing but pure, unadulterated time to myself.  To be alone.  Which, of course, isn't bad (especially since I'm an introvert and that's how I replenish my energy), but let's be honest, right now I'm craving alone time like I crave sleep.  In a desperate, "running on fumes" kind of way.

Which pretty much explains the off-balance feelings.  Despite the fact that I've made shifts to volunteer in my strengths, and efforts to connect with good friends, I'm overwhelmed.  Too many people taking up too many of my free nights, and too many of my free nights taken up by projects.  There is no good replenishing going on. 

Too much striving. 
Too much expectation. 
Too much guilt. 
Too much to be done.
Too much.
TOO MUCH.

I'm pretty confident that Wholeness and Balance go hand in hand.  So I suppose it's time to strategically figure out what balance means for me.