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Disclaimer: There is a lot of misunderstanding between both Introverts & Extroverts. I'm not saying that I understand the intricacies of all extroverts. Just like I don't understand men. I speak only for what I've seen and sensed.
For most of my existence I've felt misunderstood.
I had an epiphany of sorts last summer when I realized that extroverts frequently try to "convert" introverts. Not the other way around--that would just be silly, right?
I've grown up in a culture that praises the extroverted. And for a long time, I felt like I was broken. I made strong efforts to join the extroverts. And I usually failed. More recently I let go of the desire to be extroverted--regardless of the value I believed came with that title. There was a certain freedom in accepting myself as I was created while seeking to find the balance between pushing myself out of my comfort zones to do the work God had created for me, and trying to be someone that I definitely was not created to be.
During leadership conversations centered around "drawing out the quiet students", I usually find myself reaching unusual levels of frustration. The key is figuring out the difference between "just shy" and "naturally introverted", and then finding appropriate ways to stretch those people without making them think that they must act a different way to "be normal". What the extrovert doesn't see are the high levels of anxiety and frustration that go along with "being extroverted". For me, instead of enjoying where I'm at, I'm social conditioned to constantly question myself. "You should be more social" turns into an overwhelming task at times--one I frequently "fail". And the failure to live up to these social norms is surprisingly upsetting/frustrating.
When you start trying to mold introverts into fake extroverts you invariably dismiss the valuable role that introverts can play. Those are usually the few moments I feel emboldened enough to speak up. For those of us who typically won't.
The roles are going to look different, just like each individual person holds a unique gifting. Generally speaking though, introverts aren't going to naturally volunteer for roles that require microphones, or costumes, or center stage. But limiting volunteer choices to the obvious can be troublesome for introverts. They want to serve, but if you don't create appropriate roles, they're likely to step back and question their ability to help at all.
There is a beautiful interplay between extroverts and introverts. A natural balance. I'm confident that this balance can bleed over perfectly into kingdom work. We just need more leaders who are able to identify those roles for the people who don't feel like they fit in as they are.
