These lists empower me in three different ways:
1. I know what's important to me,
2. I alleviate the guilt over never quite achieving the same standards of perfection in things I'm not particularly good at or dislike doing, and
3. I'm allowed the freedom of time to complete the things on my "things I do" list because I am not burdened with the things on my "things I don't do" list.
I can't do everything or be great at everything. In order to stave off unnecessary guilt and perceived responsibility, I have these lists to remind me what's important and what's not. The "things I don't do" list sets me free from a "do everything better" kind of mindset that envelopes our culture.
I'm openly admitting defeat in several areas and accepting that fact. And I'm breaking down the social stigma that says that I need to be all things to all people. These are the things I do and don't do.
Invest in people - I think people are fantastic, and I want to spend as much of my time with fantastic people as possible. I learned that diversity in friendships, and life, is a blessing and a necessity. I'm purposeful about my friendships and the people I spend my time with, but people are indeed what I choose to spend my time on. Sometimes I get to the point where there are too many people that I want to see and not enough hours in the week to do it all. Weeks full of rich conversations with great people are amazing. The amount of encouragement, motivation, and inspiration I get from people makes all the running around and being busy all week worth it.
Read good books - I am a book nerd. I've been reading since my mom took my brother and I to the public library at age three. Words are powerful. Impacting phrases stay with me long after, sustaining a lingering desire to push farther and analyze deeper. Books are also where I meet good friends and journey with them through stories. Fiction series are usually my favorite, but right now I'm working through some great Christian non-fiction. Needless to say, books are essential. I will always read. My children will read. Books are just that amazing.
Take naps - I was the three year old who literally had to be weaned off naps to go to all-day school. I'm a napper, when allowed. I lived in Mexico for three months and I fell in love with the siesta. A big meal and then a mid-day nap? Sign me up!
Blog/journal - I enjoy writing immensely, and I've never found a better way to process through tough information, cry through a sad situation, or yell through my frustrations than through writing. It's a freeing exercise that centers me again and again, but it also allows me to be 100% real with zero fear of nonacceptance. Words are an indelible part of what makes me who I am. And just for clarification. I reserve the right to use phrases like "dude" and "yo" in the same sentence as vociferous or penultimate. Because that's who I am, and because finding just the right word for the situation is like adding whipped cream to the top of a sundae. In fact, it might actually be better.
Volunteer - This pours out of my passions for Salem/Keizer and community outreach in general. There is always something that can be done. Time is limited, obviously, but there are ways to engage and give back. I spend time doing this because I think it's important, not because I think I have to. Volunteering allows me to appreciate, in a deeper way, some of the many blessings I have in my life. Salem-Keizer has made leaps and bounds in the right direction, but there are still hurting, hungry people just waiting for someone to reach out.
Take pictures (of what I want) - I'm no good at snapping random candids on a trip with friends or capturing great moments at a wedding, but I can have a lot of fun with art and nature when I have my camera. After many years of thinking I just wasn't creative, I finally found where my creativity lies. And moments when I allow myself to slip into my art and take pictures of things that capture my eye are beautiful and totally worth it.
Sabbath - I think honoring a Sabbath is not only important, but essential to a healthy Christian life. And thank goodness I feel that way because without a Sabbath I think I would have melt-downs every other day. Sometimes I slip up, but it's the idea that is important. God knew we needed a day of rest, that's why He gave us one. I'm determined to take advantage of it. A guilt-free day to rest in God and allow myself to be emotionally, spiritually, and physically refilled.
Quiet time - My relationship with God is supreme above all else, and my relationship exists because I spend regular time just being with Him. He's the only friend who asks for nothing more than my time and my love, and since making arrangements with God on times to meet up isn't necessary, we can chat even more frequently; in the car, while I'm cooking dinner, or even when I'm waiting in line. What is a relationship if you don't develop and cultivate it?
Eat what I want - I don't do diets. I exercise (a little excessively right now because of the marathon) and I enjoy eating healthy foods like fruits and vegetables, but I eat what I want when I want in moderation. And I don't obsess about my weight. There are bigger issues to worry about.
Landscape/garden - I'm not a gardener. I've never been a gardener. I'll most likely never become a gardener. I can mow the grass and pick a few weeds, but please please please don't ask me to plant stuff and keep it alive. To me, gardening is like exterior decorating, and since my interior decorating skills are minimal, I'm just not going to worry about it.
Cook lavish meals/desserts - I've watched my fair share of the food network, seen some of the cooks come up with some elaborate meals, and wished for a second that I could do that. Then I come back to reality and remember that I'm me, and not on the food network for a reason. Macaroni and cheese, pizza, hot dogs, and frozen meals in a bag/box are wholly acceptable dinners. I'm much better with baking, but mostly because the recipe tells you exactly how much of everything to use. Experimenting with a little bit of this and a dash of that, like how my talented brother cooks, is not how I do things. I like recipes with detailed directions and exact lists of ingredients. I'm certain I could make almost anything with a good recipe, but if you tell me to just create something with what I have, you will most likely get a blank stare or a look of fear.
Change decorations based on season - Decorating is not my flair. I just bought a house and it's, not surprisingly, overwhelming to think about all the decorations that will be needed. I can appreciate cute decorations and trinkets in other peoples houses and I think they look great, but collecting even just one set for my house is all I have the patience for. This means that having second and third sets of decorations that match the theme of the season is out. I'll get a Christmas tree in December, but that's it.
Deep clean my house - I hate to admit this, but I will anyway. I have no problem with cleaning when something really needs cleaning, but my "acceptable" level lasts for a long time. I frequently wear clothes a good number of times, or use dishes/silverware several times before I even think about washing them. And dust bunnies have to literally attack me before I realize that I haven't swept or vacuumed in a while. As long as it looks clean, I'm happy.
Try to keep up with all good TV shows - I tried this for a while, so that I would have things to talk about with co-workers and friends on Facebook, but I don't have the time and honestly, I can live without them. I'll follow one, maybe two shows a year. And it is watched almost entirely online several days later.
Paint my nails - This one puzzles most girls, but I don't even care. I don't like painting my nails, I think it's silly. I think they look just fine without. And don't even get me started on professional manicures and acrylic nails... **shudder**
Make frequent phone calls - I am awful at the phone. Texting I can do. Facebook I'm good at. Having long phone conversations with people (even those I really like) is sometimes akin to having teeth pulled. No offense, but I prefer to talk in person. This is the exact reason that I sent 3,000 texts last month and used less than 100 of my cell phone minutes.
Wake up early - I'm not a morning person. I'm not grumpy or caffeine deprived, I'm just exhausted. Chronic problems with sleeping is the root of the issue, but since I can't figure out how to fix those, I'm just always tired. Especially in the morning. So many people have these great devotional times in the morning, watching the sun rise and drinking a cup of coffee while reading their Bible. All I can think about is sleeping, which sort of ruins the whole mood. So becoming one of those people who wakes up early to run, or do their devo, or get a bunch of things done is a no-go. I accept my late-afternoon/early-evening self as I am.
Buying meaningful gifts - Gifts are the bane of my existence. It's not one of my love languages. I honestly prefer not to get gifts because I am no good at feigning a love for something I'll never use. So buying gifts for people turns into an all-year event. I'll literally list all the people I need to get something for after New Years, and capture great gift ideas throughout the year. I'll purchase all the gifts on my list at least two weeks before Christmas and be done. If I don't do this I spend the entire month of December freaking out about acceptable gifts that people will 1. use, and 2. like. For this reason I do gifts only at Christmas and occasionally for birthdays. It's just too stressful otherwise.
Go to bars - I dislike bars. I'm not a huge fan of alcohol just in general. Being oogled and hit on by drunk guys isn't fun. Watching drunk people do silly things, much more entertaining, but still not enough to make going to bars worth it. I refuse to feel guilty for telling friends I don't want to go to a bar to meet up with them. There are plenty of other alternatives.
Wear makeup every day - I'll be honest, eye makeup in a pain. Sure it looks cool, but putting it on and taking it off is a chore. I only wear it when I'm meeting people, determined to look professional, or am truly bored and have too much free time on my hands. I hate the social stigma that says that a woman is only beautiful is she spends an hour looking "perfect".
Keep up on the news - Today is yet another example of my utter lack of information. Ecuador had a coup and Jamie Lee Curtis' dad died. I have no idea what is going on in the world, or even just here in the United States. I think that makes me a terrible Political Science graduate, but who has the time?
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