Certainty

I'm a firm believe in the idea that 'all things happen for a reason' and that there are lessons to learn from every experience.

Lately, my life seems to be characterized by experiences and situations that, given the chance, I would not naturally pick for myself.  Buying a house alone, running a marathon, working with high school students...

Yet, as I allow God to shape me into the person that only He can see, He continually brings life experiences that initially leave me apprehensive and curious.  Situations and experiences that, once I dive in, bring a strong sense of inspiration and peace.  A curious peace that settles around my tightened grip on life as I see it, and eventually loosens that grip, finger by finger, until I open my eyes and wonder exactly how I got to this place of certainty in an experience that terrifies me.

My newest "challenge" is high school students.  Amidst a very-early morning run while training for my marathon, an epiphany of sorts struck me.  The incredibly clear call I'd heard months prior, to mentor (and to be mentored), needed action.  And that action was delving into the youth group at church.  Not a delusion, despite the fact that I was at mile 12, but a clear call to step out of my comfort zone yet again.  I know these calls by the vibrant inspiration that accompanies them--they are scary and unique and mind-altering, but they always come with a sense of certainty.  So I took a deep breath, let the inspiration wash over me, and opened my mind to the possibilities.

I'm several weeks into this journey already, and it's a challenge.  It stretches me in ways I'd rather not be stretched, and asks me to grow in areas I've known needed help, but didn't feel like putting the effort into.  It's not what I would have chosen.  This age group terrifies me sometimes.  But I know, without a doubt, that I am exactly where I should be right now.  Doing exactly what God has called me to do.  And the growing and stretching are all part of the process-- fun or not.  God knew I had it in me; sometimes it just takes a while for me to believe likewise.

As I meet and interact with more students, I become more comfortable.  I also become more aware.  Of my actions, my words, my relationship with God.  New truths are becoming evident, and for the first time (that I've been consciously aware of) I have a concrete avenue to influence others.  The reality is a little heady.  Staying stagnant does a disservice to more than just me now.  It's definitely a lot to think about...

Leadership is one of my most underused gifts.  I've become complacent letting others lead.  Following is a whole lot easier than leading, for sure.  There are a lot fewer chances to fail too.  But, I asked God last year to provide opportunities for me to grow in this area, and this is Him following through.  It's time to step up to the challenge before me and use the gifts I have been given to glorify God.  That's really what this life is all about, right?