Thursday, January 20, 2011

It is well with my soul.

This is what I caught myself singing this morning, I don't know how it came to mind:

    "It is well with my soul,
    it is well, it is well with my soul"

It's funny because I was pretty sure I felt the opposite. 

Sometimes I feel like life is taunting me.  Showing me the desires of my heart, only to snatch them away, right as I crave them most.  Right after I self-talk myself into believing that it is possible.  Then it's gone. 

I wish I could say this was a one-time occurrence, but it seems to be on repeat in my life right now.  There must be something that I'm missing.  A hidden key, a truth, a message?

As I continue to walk through this dusk-y season of life, I'm desperately searching for the joy I know I'm supposed to have.  The assurance that seasons change. Sometimes I catch glimpses.  A lot of the time though I just feel like the idealist who continues to search for the pot-of-gold at the end of the rainbow.

Still searching.  Still hoping.  One slow step at a time.

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