Tonight was perfect.
A beautiful combination of community, hope, and encouragement. Surrounded by women and friends that I love. Some I would call if I needed a shoulder to cry on, and others who I'd love to get to know better. Regardless, a cozy house, lots of quality, Christian women, plates of food and dessert, and an author who truly encourages and inspires me. I couldn't ask for better.
Not only did the event seem very "adult" (since the house purchase a lot of things just feel "adult"), but I felt connected to a life bigger than my own. A community that felt safe and accepting.
I spent a good deal of Jr. High frustrated because my parents weren't more involved at my church. Because the kids whose parents were involved seemed to be part of the "clique" that I wanted nothing more than to be a part of. I was determined to go as far towards that goal as I could on my own, and to that end I became the super volunteer and the ever-present Jr Higher who spent more time at church than at home. And I found a sense of community. I felt loved and accepted and alive. But I never quite made it into that elite clique.
Here we are ten-(ish) years later. I'm connected with a church again, finally feeling alive and cultivating the kinds of friendships with Godly women that I've always wanted. Tonight I was allowed to experience the group I always wanted to be a part of in Jr High. And the great thing this time around is that I, myself, have much more control this go around. Nothing is holding me back.
All that to say that tonight was beautiful and encouraging. A shining beacon of hope through the melancholy. And quite literally what I want more than most anything else, an authentic community of people who I can be real with. I'm on my way.
The other amazing part of the night centered around the very fact that I got to meet Shauna Niequist. Nothing quite as bizarre as having a conversation about marathons (she's running one at the same time as me!) over a glass of champagne. But, for as surreal as it was to hear Shauna read from a book that truly touched me these last couple of months--a book that reached out to right where I was and encouraged me to keep going--it was absolutely amazing. She's normal, she's real, and I've never wanted to write a book of my own as much as I do now.
The melancholic mood of this last week has been replaced with a much sunnier disposition and a dangling hope for the future. I'm encouraged and I'm irrevocably changed for the better. And it's only Tuesday evening...
1 comment:
I'm so glad you were there! Thanks so so much for joining us that night! :-)
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