A confession

Confession:  I haven't done a mid-week run in weeks.  In fact, I've probably only done 1 or 2 in the last month and a half.  The motivation is gone.  Completely gone.  I wake up in the morning, think of an excuse why I should get an hour more of sleep, and then reset the alarm.  No one knows if I don't get up early and run.  No one asks about it.  So I get away with it.  And I can still say I'm "training for a marathon"...(that is less than 2 weeks away!)

Thankfully my motivation to get the long runs done hasn't waned.  I guess if I can only have motivation to do one, I'd rather the long runs be the winner.  But I can't imagine running 16-20 miles only one day each week is doing my body and muscles any favors.  I'm honestly a little worried.

Early morning running seems to be immune to my usual tactics. I'm not a morning person, but I'm a busy person.  And the only time available to running is in the morning before work.  Needless to say, I'm one more failed goal away from giving up completely.  I've tried everything I can think of, tried to convince myself up, down, and sideways of the importance of it, and just generally failed.  It's incredibly discouraging.

I've never struggled with motivation.  Especially when I set a goal with an expiration date.  This is totally new to me, and to be honest, it's disconcerting.  Discipline is (literally) one of my strengths.  That's what I do.  Challenge myself and then follow through.  Over and over again.  Mental fortitude not mental abandon.

Motivation all around my life is lacking, and I'm a strange mix of disappointed and "couldn't care less."  I don't like it at all, but the crux is that I can't seem to get past it either.  Maybe my goals are too lofty?