Full life or Full schedule?

A full schedule does not equal a full life.

There I am, sitting in a park, reading a phenomenal book (Bittersweet by Shauna Neiquist) and BAM, convicted.  Is my frantic schedule really the asset I sometimes see it as?  Or is over scheduling and filling in every time slot really just a sickness?  The point hit hard, especially when I realized that I time slotted "reading a book" into my schedule between appointments lest I waste any part of my day...

Here's a snippet from the book:

"I love it when a day's activities stack up on top of each other perfectly, from breakfast to work to lunch to grocery shopping to coffee, all the way through till I fall into bed.  I love days when you're always leaving something early to arrive just a touch late at the next place, like pearls on a string or Tarzan swinging on vines, feed never touching the ground.

Or really, I love the idea of that way of living, so I sign myself up for it every chance I get.  And then I realize in the moment that it isn't what I wanted at all.  After a while, I'm frantic and tired and not really listening when people are talking.

I've been around this block a thousand times.  I'm ravenous, and life looks to me so sparkly and beautiful, waiting to be devoured like a perfect apple.  So I say yes, yes to everything.  It's so delicious, and I don't want to miss out on even one moment of it.  And that's the point.  I miss all sorts of sacred and significant moments, because of my frantic insistence that I can do it all, and that I don't have to miss anything."

This whole lesson dovetails with another chapter in the book about realizing who is on your "Home Team".  The people you're closest to, the ones who let you see them without makeup on and feel comfortable enough to get themselves a glass of water in your house without asking.  These are the people that should be the priority, but sadly that's not always the case.  Sometimes I allow those who "need" me or those who persistently ask for my time to take all of my free time instead of pouring into my Home Team first. 

So perhaps it's time for me to sit down and figure out exactly who is on my Home Team, and create a little more dead space in my weeks.  Waking up and dreading days because of never-ending activities isn't working out.  It's time to work on intentional scheduling and intentional relationships (with fewer people).