More or Less

There is no short supply of God's love and gifts to His children.

If I ask for more, someone else does not receive less.

The concept is so counter-culture for me, but I love it.

Hearing a "no"

It's a warm winter evening.  Nearly 60 degrees.  Unbelievable almost.

I should be asleep right now.  Saturday evening/Sunday morning 1:00am, but I'm not (obviously).

I'm guessing that's probably because I'm processing through what I believe is a "no" from God right now.  So I sit here, trying to let it sink in fully.  Give myself proper time to accept the death of something I wanted so much.  Where to even start?

Where was the guarantee that life would go according to my plan?  Where was the promise of things on my timetable?

How easily I forget that what is there one moment can easily be gone the next.  Trying to find acceptance, wholeness, or happiness in something other than God frequently goes this way.  I wonder sometimes if particular things are taken away when I lose my focus.  That perhaps this is God's way of "gently" reminding me that life with Him is sweet, and sweeter still when my focus is correct.

Thankfully God walks through the journey to healing with me.  My head on His shoulder.  The calming words of peace and rest He whispers to me.  The reminder that great things are ahead.  Tonight I need His shoulder more than I knew.

Believe It and Be Satisfied

**This is a beautiful piece that my mentor shared with me recently.**

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone—
To have a deep soul relationship with another—
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God to a Christian says,
No; not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone—
Discovering that only in Me your satisfaction is to be found—
Will you then be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with Me—
Exclusively of anyone or anything else—
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing—
One that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things—
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening to and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait, that's all.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry.
Don't look at the things others have gotten or that I have given them.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
You just keep looking at Me,
Or you will miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready,
I'll surprise you with a love that's far more wonderful than any you would ever dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and
Until the one I have for you is ready,
(I am working, even at this moment, to have both of you ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me,
and the life I've prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me,
And this is perfect love.
And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love—
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me;
And to enjoy materially and concretely,
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and the love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly
I Am God.
Believe it and be satisfied

Leadership

Feeling overwhelmed with responsibility?

"I have found that it is in the place of responsibility that we can have very close fellowship with the Lord. He is the King of kings, so responsibility is what He does. We are in training for reigning with Him. The reigning may not be the reward, but the fellowship with Him in reigning will be our reward. If we want to abide with Him we must learn to find fellowship with Him in all responsibility, and in all authority." 50 Days for an Enduring Vision - Rick Joyner

I have found some of the greatest fellowship among groups of leaders I've been a part of.  When you're part of a team you're practically family.  So when I read this yesterday I was really encouraged.  Despite the challenges of leading that I face and the overwhelming odds and responsibility that I feel sometimes, God is training me to be prepared to lead with Him someday.  I'm looking forward to that day, to that intimate fellowship of leading on the same team.


Time to keep training.

I'd wait

if you asked me to.

Happy Birthday me

Only one thing could make today better.

Thankful and blessed by amazing friends, a supportive family, and a church I love.

Being a quarter-of-a-century never felt so good.

Weird vibes

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that you just got weird vibes from?  Not the person, just the conversation.

By no means am I an amazing "people reader", but I'm usually pretty good at parsing for subtext and reading between the lines.  I also generally have a pretty good gut feelings on things.

Last night I had a conversation that had weird vibes practically jumping out at me.  I'm not sure what it was about the conversation, but something wasn't normal.  And I'm not thrilled with the "I wish I just understood what was going on" thoughts that continue to run through my head.

Oh-well, guess that's all I get for now.