Game of MASH

Remember the old game called "MASH"?  I have some of the fondest memories from junior high youth group trips filled with round after round of MASH, usually played on long car trips.  It laid out all the "ingredients" for life.  House, job, city you live in, car, spouse, number of kids, wedding, etc...  You'd cross your fingers and hope that, by some luck, you'd end up with the future that you'd dreamed about (or at least picked the answers for).

Fast forward a decade.  My life looks nothing like MASH predicted.  Not even close.  I could have sworn that I would be married with kids by now, but I'm obviously not.  Sometimes I wake up and wonder what happened.  How did I get to where I'm at?  And where am I going from here?

I'm smart enough to know that a paper game won't predict my future.  In fact, trying to diagram out my future was probably the source of the problem.  Just accepting things as they come from God is immeasurably harder.  I'm a "planner" and a scheduler.  That's just how I was created.  But God continually tests me by doling out life experiences in an order that frequently puzzles me.

"May we know the wonder of entering the future without a map" -Stumbo

It's a beautiful sentiment, a quote that feeds an inner desire to be content with my lot, but it's not always a reality in my life.  A constant struggle between what I have and what I want. 

Maybe someday I'll get it.  For now it's still a day-to-day process of accepting.  Accepting that my plan's timing is flawed and God's isn't.